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Monday, April 23, 2012

A really weird place.

As you get older your life sometimes revisits past times, places, events, memories resurface, reconnect with old friends you seldom see, and you see or read something that touches you so deeply it scratches your soul, and leaves a lasting impression. At times when these events occur you can see the interconnectedness of people, people who haven’t met, but have shared experiences and feelings.

When something done years ago resurfaces as a memory, it ties you to things you’re doing now, what you’re reading, who you are seeing. I grew up in northern Idaho, out in the woods and went to school at Athol Elementary, started in the first grade, the same year I had my tonsils and adenoids taken out. My first memories are of this place and time with only fragments of memories of living in California before that. My book clubs book this month was Frank Peretti’s “Illusion”, the first book of his I’ve ever read, and part of the book takes place where I grew up, it even mentions Athol, Idaho in the book.

Last week while reading this book my youngest son Garth had his second set of tubes put in his ears and his adenoids reduced at age two, much younger than I was, but it still stirred memories, and along with reading this book which also stirred memories and emotions. The Book Club ladies are who got me writing on a regular basis which led me to writing my first book, which led me to starting a Blog, to make connections with other aspiring writers and potentially get noticed so people may try my books.

In just a matter of days around the beginning of July I will have been in my current employment twenty years, a milestone. The guy who hired me all those years ago is still a close personal friend of mine, and so is his wife. His wife has been battling cancer for over a year now, she won a few battles but its back and they found out last Tuesday it has entered her brain. My family and I traveled a bit north this weekend to visit my friends, it was great but it was hard in ways I can’t begin to explain. This is the man that gave me chance to have a stable job for all these years. The guy who took a chance on me. I still vividly remember sitting in the interview with him thinking “I hope I get this job even if it is only in the warehouse, within six months I can find something better, I just really need a job right now.” I had a baby girl at home, a wife and a thirty year mortgage, not to mention just getting by.

This job which didn’t allow me to further my education but which had a library down the street did get me into reading, reading a lot! I thought many times that if couldn’t go to school that it didn’t mean I couldn’t further my education on my own, so I read any and everything. Through the following years and through the urging of the book club ladies I am now not just still employed at the same place but I am a published author. I have found my passion. Along the way I got divorced and re-married to Wonder Woman, and have two small boys from that heavenly union, more Passion!! To see my friend and knowing that a major part of his passion is about to lose the war and pass on to my heavenly fathers care and leave my friend behind, is bitter sweet to say the least.

Reading Frank Peretti’s book, a spiritual book, about multiple time lines, about love lost and found, about faith in our heavenly father. Well my day, the last week, this month has been timelines and memories crashing together, happy and sad, illuminating and shadowy, pressing forward with my books, writing, re-editing, my emotions and feelings are off the scale. As the title of the post relates, it has just left me in a really weird place. Hopeful, yet depressed, happy yet melancholy, busy but with reason and respect for the more important aspects of life and living. I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone, but this is why I haven’t posted in anything in a couple of days, and even as I prepare this for my blog I am not sure where or how solidly both my feet are planted. My faith in God is renewed, as is the love of my wife and family. My book in progress is awesome and I can’t wait to get back to it, yet tonight is book club, so no writing. My editing, stalled until tomorrow or the next day, work on the sequel or editing “Whisper” some more? In the overall scheme of things and life it is a small inconsequential choice, I’ll make tomorrow.

 If you have never heard of Frank E. Peretti, or read any of his books, I highly recommend “Illusion”; I gave it five stars on Amazon with a written review, and on Goodreads dot com. I touched me along with a lot of other stuff all in a short span of time, all intermingled, all connected, all related, all my life.

May God Bless you! If you have never experienced what I am talking about I pray you do for it grounds you, focuses you, strengthens your faith, and gently and lovingly pushes you onward.

 
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