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Friday, January 4, 2013

You Can’t Pick Your Family


Family means as many things as there are different people.  What it all boils down to in the end is Family is those people who you accept as they are and decide to spend your time with.  Many Families love each other but for some reason or another they don’t spend time together or do things together.  For Many people their families are not actually their biological families.  Instead it’s the people who accept them for who they are, the Good and Bad, and love them unconditionally.

You can’t control other people.  You have no control over what they do with their lives, how they behave, the things they say, the things they hear or the hard feelings they harbor.  As time passes and each member of our families grow and age we all change and the less control and influence you have in your children’s lives.  It has become apparent that through acceptance, unconditional love, and being there is the best way to maintain that contact in order to spend time with those you love.
As your family grows and new people enter your family you have to either accept them or not, it’s a choice only you can make.  Who you choose to spend your time with is up to you.
It is tragic when biological family members turn on other members of their family, choose not to accept them, or spend time with other members of your family.  Sometimes the healthiest choice to make is to alienate a part of your family that makes these hurtful choices in order to support and love the ones that support and love you, unconditionally.
To want love and acceptance and a relationship that a family member is unable or unwilling to give is hurtful.  It hurts the one who desires the relationship and hurts the one who is unable or unwilling to provide the love or relationship the other one desires.  Two people who both want the same thing and yet for whatever the reasons both are left hurting.  For those who have experienced this it is a perpetual deep hurting that leaves scars on your soul.
In summary love those who love and support you, who are there for you.  Kiss them, Hug them, and Cherish what you have in them.
As I get older I realize more than ever how truly important true Family is to have and to be a part of.  I realize my responsibility as a father is to be accepting, and provide unconditional love for those who will have it.  To be there for my children in all ways that is within my power to be.  Be there for them and they will hopefully be there for you.  Be accepting.  Be loving.  Be supportive.  Let everything thing else go.

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