I’M A CRIMINAL

Yes, I know it is hard to believe but apparently I have broken the law and got caught.  My neighbor also got caught for committing the same crime.  Yes, apparently there is a crime wave going on in the suburb community of Independence, Missouri.  Have no fear my fellow readers, Officer Barney Badass is on his toes and ever vigilant and cleaning up crime in my neighborhood.

Never mind that there has been numerous houses broken into over the last few months or that some higher department of law enforcement is running an undercover drug house in the neighborhood.  Or the fact that the local trash company regularly steals their own trash cans so we have to report them stolen in order to get new ones from the trash company; this one reeks of conspiracy and organized crime involving the trash company involved, the police and whomever the insurance carrier is for their trash cans.  Did you know the trash cans are covered by their insurance, in case of theft?

We Americans have been spoiled by unrealistic television to believe the Police are ever vigilant in tracking down the real criminal elements of our society with high tech equipment and the help of uber intellectual teachers and ex-psychics to help them solve the baffling cases committed by criminal masterminds.  The truth is the police are just as stupid as the criminals as evident by the fact of what the police actually do and how full our prisons are.  The real intelligent criminals are out there and everybody knows who they are and where they are at.  I’ll bet my ass they aren’t getting parking tickets in front of their homes at midnight.

Yes, that’s right.  I got a parking ticket!  In front of my own home for parking the wrong direction on the street.  Three blocks away from the nearest main street in such a hidden away land locked spot of town that AT&T just skipped the entire neighborhood!  There are four ways into our little land locked area and all lead to a main street with two lanes of traffic heading each way.  Only one of the four streets comes out at a traffic light.  I’m sure on his spree of writing tickets it never occurred to Officer Dumbass why every bodies cars are facing south towards the only fast and efficient way out of the neighborhood.

(This is NOT my house.)



No we are all expected to be lawful citizens and turn around and face our cars the other way, effecting turning around when you get home and turning around again in the street before you leave in the morning.  I have lived here nine years and parked facing the way out of the neighborhood almost every night.  If I do come in from the south I will generally turn my truck around to face the right way, excuse me, the illegal but more intelligent direction before going in for the night.

I realize if his job is to patrol a particular area of town on a Tuesday night there might not be much to do in this neighborhood, but that is largely because he doesn’t know where the real criminals live in my neighborhood.  When I got home my neighbor asked me how I liked getting a parking ticket for parking in front of my own home as he waved his ticket at me, he got one too.  We talk, we wave at each other, were neighbors!  Most of the people in this neighborhood are the original residents who bought the homes as new right after they were built in the early seventies.  The newer residents such as myself are just hard working Americans who live paycheck to paycheck.  Thankfully this foray into proper parking procedures is only a twenty dollar ticket, which only means I get to pay the ticket instead of going to the movies to see the new Batman Movie.

Is it any wonder about people’s animosity for the police when we can see criminal activity daily and atrocities such as the shooting in Colorado or at our own mall down the street in Independence this last spring and instead of fighting crime.  Instead of making the community a safer place my fines and tax dollars are paying Barney Badass to play meter maid on back streets out of the way.  If it really bothered him he could of used sticky notes and left people some warnings.  “Hey it’s illegal to park your car on this side of the street facing the wrong direction.”

Hell, I would have been pissed but he could have rung my door bell and I would have grumpily gotten up and moved the fucking car along with my neighbor, that way Officer Dumbass could have been a prick and petty all in one fell swoop.  That might have caused a problem and then he might have had to unbutton his shirt pocket to get his bullet out!  At least with that option I still might have been able to go watch the Dark Knight.

There has been this uprising of people screaming about the Second Amendment and how much safer the world would be if Americans were not allowed to have guns.  I am sorry but with the dumb asses that registered voters have elected into office and in the inefficiency to manage our own government better than Blockbuster Video, and with the intelligence of the people roaming our streets to harass and intimidate rather than to serve and protect, I am not giving up my gun EVER!  The right to bear arms, own a gun, and protect ourselves in the face of threats or the tyranny of our own elected government is our last line of defense.  If you don’t agree you don’t have to buy a gun, own a gun or carry one.  It’s a right, it isn’t mandatory!

In closing if you don’t think that the fact that Americans own and have loaded weapons isn’t a major consideration for any country ever considering to invade our country - then think again.  I will guarantee an invading army will be more worried about having to fight for every house on every block of every city more than they are worried about our military.

I don’t RANT that often on my blog, but today you just got lucky!



Posted in: police barney badass ticket crime protect bullet guns criminals